The first year companion

For the moments when you cannot think straight

When the week is a blur and you cannot tell what matters most, this is the section to come back to. Four columns of triage.

What needs attention now

• Order 10–15 certified copies of the death certificate.
• Locate the will. Identify the executor.
• Notify immediate family, close friends, and your partner's employer.
• Stop or forward mail.
• Secure the home.

What can wait until you're ready

• Schedule a meeting with an estate attorney.
• Apply for Social Security survivor benefits.
• File life insurance claims.
• Notify banks and brokerages.
• Begin a list of accounts. Don't try to finish it.

What to leave alone for now

• Don't pay your partner's individual bills until you've spoken to an attorney.
• Don't close joint accounts.
• Don't sell, move, or sign anything you don't have to.
• Don't make any 30-year decision.

Ask one person

• A friend, sibling, attorney, or steward to sit with you while you do.
• Or to make the calls on your behalf.
• Many of these conversations go better when someone else is taking notes.

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The first week

Documents and notifications

• [ ] Order 10 to 15 certified copies of the death certificate — the funeral home will usually arrange this
• [ ] Locate the will and any trust documents
• [ ] Identify the executor or personal representative
• [ ] Notify immediate family and close friends
• [ ] Notify your partner's employer
• [ ] Notify your own employer if you need bereavement leave
• [ ] If your partner served in the military, notify the Department of Veterans Affairs

Practical care

• [ ] Secure the home — change locks if anyone outside the household had keys
• [ ] Stop or forward mail to a trusted address
• [ ] Arrange care for pets, plants, dependents
• [ ] Cancel any non-essential upcoming travel
• [ ] Designate someone to handle calls and visitors when you can't

What not to do this week

• [ ] Don't pay any of your partner's individual bills yet — probate may require otherwise
• [ ] Don't close joint accounts
• [ ] Don't sign anything except what is strictly required
• [ ] Don't make large purchases or sales

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The first month

Estate and legal

• [ ] Schedule a meeting with an estate attorney — if your partner had one, start there; if not, ask your accountant or a trusted advisor for a referral
• [ ] File the will with probate court (state-specific — your attorney will guide you)
• [ ] Begin an inventory of assets and debts
• [ ] Notify the credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) to flag the deceased's accounts against fraud

Benefits and insurance

• [ ] Notify the Social Security Administration (often the funeral home will, but confirm)
• [ ] Apply for Social Security survivor benefits
• [ ] Notify any pension plan administrators
• [ ] File life insurance claims
• [ ] Contact retirement plan administrators (401(k), IRA, employer plans)
• [ ] If your partner was on Medicare, notify Medicare
• [ ] If you had a marketplace health insurance plan together, contact the marketplace

Banking and accounts

• [ ] Notify all banks and brokerages
• [ ] Open an estate bank account if the will calls for one
• [ ] Begin a list of all your partner's accounts, login credentials, and recurring charges — this list will keep growing for months; don't try to finish it now

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Months two and three

Re-titling and updates

• [ ] Address joint accounts (re-titling, closing — only after probate guidance)
• [ ] Update beneficiaries on YOUR own accounts — critical and often missed
• [ ] Update car titles and registration
• [ ] Update the home title or deed (state-specific)
• [ ] Update insurance policies (auto, home, umbrella) to reflect the change

Identity and digital

• [ ] Cancel your partner's driver's license and passport
• [ ] Cancel professional licenses if applicable
• [ ] Address email accounts and digital assets — login lists, social media, cloud storage
• [ ] Cancel cell phone plan or transfer to your name

Subscriptions and services

• [ ] Audit recurring charges on credit cards and bank statements
• [ ] Cancel subscriptions in your partner's name (streaming, magazines, gym, professional memberships)
• [ ] Be careful with shared subscriptions — some you may want to keep
• [ ] Update or cancel medical appointments

Tax preparation

• [ ] Begin gathering tax documents for your partner's final return
• [ ] Schedule with a tax professional for filing the final return (and estate return if applicable)
• [ ] Note: the estate may need IRS Form 706 if it exceeds the federal exemption ($15M per individual under OBBBA, made permanent in 2025)
• [ ] Form 1041 may be required if the estate generates over $600 of income during administration

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Months four to six

Your own planning

• [ ] Update YOUR will
• [ ] Update YOUR power of attorney (durable and healthcare)
• [ ] Update YOUR healthcare directive
• [ ] Update YOUR beneficiaries on all accounts — yes, again; many people do this twice as they discover accounts they missed
• [ ] Re-evaluate your retirement plan with the new financial reality
• [ ] Re-evaluate your insurance needs — life, long-term care, health
• [ ] Consider when to claim Social Security widow benefits — a strategic decision; talk to a financial advisor

Estate completion

• [ ] Ensure trust funding is complete (if a revocable trust existed)
• [ ] Distribute estate assets per the will (if you are executor)
• [ ] Address remaining debts and creditors

Tax filing

• [ ] File your partner's final tax return (typically by April of the following year)
• [ ] File the estate return (Form 1041) if required
• [ ] Consider filing as "qualifying surviving spouse" for the next two years if you have a dependent child — significant tax benefits

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Months seven to twelve

Comprehensive review

• [ ] Schedule a comprehensive financial review
• [ ] Schedule a comprehensive estate plan review
• [ ] Review charitable giving plans
• [ ] Year-end tax planning

Identity and life planning

• [ ] Re-evaluate housing — but only if conditions truly require it
• [ ] Re-evaluate location — same caution
• [ ] Begin (only when ready) to consider longer-term decisions about work, lifestyle, and the second half of your life

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A note at the end of the list

This list is comprehensive on purpose. Most widows do not get through it in twelve months, and almost no one gets through it linearly. You will skip items, return to them, discover three more you didn't know existed, and find some accounts six months in that you wish you'd known about earlier. That is not a failure. That is the nature of the work.

Many widows say the moment they felt least alone in the first year was when someone sat with them while they made phone calls — not advising, not solving, just present. If you have someone in your life who can do that, ask them. If you don't, Maeve's stewards can.

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