The first-year administrative checklist (parental loss)

A note before you begin

This document is a reference for the administrative work — the paperwork, the closing of accounts, the notifications, the legal and financial steps. It is not a checklist for your grief. The grief has its own timeline and does not respond well to lists.

Use this as a reference: pick it up when you have the bandwidth, put it down when you do not. Check off what is done. Skip what does not apply. Add what is missing.

On who does what

In most families, the work of the first year falls primarily on one or two siblings — often the eldest, often the one who lived closest, often the one named executor or trustee. The named executor has legal duties; other family members have practical and emotional roles.

If you are the named executor, the legal items below are your responsibility (or your attorney's). The other items — notifications, account closures, ongoing administration — can be shared with siblings, and often should be.

If you are not the executor but are doing significant work, communicate with the executor regularly. The estate is settled by the executor; the family is held together by everyone.

If you are neither — if a sibling is doing this work — your job is to ask what would help, and then do that thing without further negotiation.

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The first two weeks

• [ ] Order multiple copies of the death certificate. You will need 10 to 15 certified copies. Most banks, insurance companies, government agencies, and legal proceedings require an original. The funeral home usually orders the first batch; if you need more later, contact the county or state vital records office.
• [ ] Locate the will and estate documents. If a parent had an attorney, contact the attorney. The will may be in a safe deposit box (which itself may be sealed pending executor appointment), with the attorney, in a home safe, or filed with the county clerk. Do not begin distributing assets until the will is located and validated.
• [ ] Notify the funeral home of all relevant benefits. Funeral homes typically report the death to Social Security automatically. They may also help arrange Veterans Administration burial benefits if the parent was a veteran. Confirm this is happening.
• [ ] Notify the immediate banks. The primary checking and savings accounts. The bank will freeze sole accounts until executor authority is established; joint accounts with a surviving spouse are accessible.
• [ ] Secure the home. If the home is now empty, ensure doors are locked, mail is being collected, valuables are not visible, and someone is checking on the property. Coordinate with siblings on who has keys.
• [ ] Handle the immediate logistical pressures. Pets that need care. Plants that need watering. A car that needs to be moved. Subscriptions or deliveries that need to be paused. Make a list, divide among siblings, do not try to do all of it yourself.

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The first month

• [ ] Set up mail forwarding. USPS allows forwarding from one address to another for a year. If multiple siblings will be receiving mail, the executor's address is usually the right destination. Mail is one of the longest-running threads of the work; expect it to keep arriving for many months.
• [ ] Begin the probate process if applicable. If the parent died with assets in their sole name (not in trust), probate is likely required. The executor (or whoever the will names) files the will with the local probate court and petitions for letters of testamentary or letters of administration — the legal documents that authorize action on the estate. An attorney is strongly recommended unless the estate is very simple.
• [ ] If a trust exists, contact the trustee. Assets held in trust pass outside of probate. If a parent had a revocable living trust, the successor trustee (named in the trust document) takes over administration. The work is similar to probate but typically faster and private.
• [ ] Notify Social Security. Usually handled by the funeral home. If not, call 1-800-772-1213. There may be a small one-time death payment to a surviving spouse or dependent child; otherwise, ongoing benefits stop.
• [ ] Notify Medicare. Usually handled automatically when Social Security is notified. Confirm Medicare benefits have stopped to avoid recovery actions for benefits paid after death.
• [ ] Notify pension administrators. If the parent was receiving a pension, contact the plan administrator. There may be a survivor benefit (if the parent elected one when they retired); there will at minimum be a process to stop further pension payments.
• [ ] Notify all health insurance providers. Medigap insurers, supplemental insurers, prescription drug plans. Ongoing premiums need to stop; any pending claims need to be addressed.
• [ ] Notify all life insurance companies. Submit death certificate copies and beneficiary information to begin the claim process. Life insurance is generally distributed within 30 to 60 days once paperwork is complete and is not subject to probate.
• [ ] Notify all financial institutions. Banks, brokerages, retirement account custodians, credit unions. Each will have its own process for transferring or distributing accounts. Joint accounts with a surviving spouse generally transfer automatically; accounts in the parent's sole name require executor or trustee authority.
• [ ] Notify Veterans Affairs. If the parent was a veteran, there may be burial benefits, a final pension payment, and survivor benefits available. Contact the VA at 1-800-827-1000 or the local VA office.
• [ ] Notify creditors. State law typically requires the executor to publish a notice to creditors in a local newspaper. This starts a clock (usually 90 to 120 days) within which creditors must file claims. Beyond that period, valid claims can usually be barred.
• [ ] Notify the credit bureaus. Equifax, Experian, TransUnion. Request a "deceased" notation on the credit report and a freeze on the file. This prevents identity theft using the parent's identity.
• [ ] Cancel the driver's license. Most states have a process; check the state DMV. This also prevents identity theft.

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Months two and three

• [ ] Inventory the estate assets. The executor (or trustee) compiles a comprehensive list of everything the parent owned at death: real estate, financial accounts, retirement accounts, vehicles, business interests, personal property of value, digital assets, intellectual property. This is the foundation of all later decisions.
• [ ] Determine the date-of-death values. For each asset, establish the value as of the date of death. For publicly traded securities, this is the closing price. For real estate, an appraisal is usually required. For business interests or unique items, professional valuation may be needed. Date-of-death value matters for tax basis and for estate tax purposes.
• [ ] Begin closing or transferring accounts. Each financial institution has its own process. Generally, you submit a death certificate, executor or trustee documentation, and instructions on where to send the funds. Some accounts will close; others will transfer to heirs. Build a tracking spreadsheet — the work spans months and you will lose track without one.
• [ ] File claims for life insurance, pension survivor benefits, and retirement accounts. Each requires the death certificate and varying levels of additional documentation. Retirement accounts (IRAs, 401(k)s) pass to named beneficiaries outside of the will; these are usually faster to claim than probated assets but have their own tax implications worth discussing with a financial advisor.
• [ ] Cancel or transfer subscriptions and recurring charges. Streaming services, gym memberships, magazines, newspapers, online services, recurring charitable donations. This is tedious work that benefits from being divided among siblings. A shared spreadsheet of what we've found, what we've cancelled keeps everyone aligned.
• [ ] Review the parent's tax situation. Locate prior tax returns. Identify the parent's tax preparer if there is one. The final personal income tax return (year of death) will likely require professional help, especially if the estate is generating income during administration.
• [ ] Begin the conversation about real estate. If there is a home, the decision about what to do with it — sell, keep, distribute — is one of the most consequential decisions of the year and the one most likely to surface family conflict. Do not rush this conversation. Read When siblings disagree about an estate before having it.
• [ ] Continue paying the parent's recurring obligations. Mortgage, property taxes, utilities, insurance — these continue until the home is sold or transferred. The estate (or the executor's funds, to be reimbursed) covers these payments.

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Months four to six

• [ ] Prepare the parent's final personal income tax return. Due April 15 of the year following death. Use a professional unless the situation is very simple.
• [ ] Prepare estate income tax returns if required. If the estate has earned income during administration (interest, dividends, rental income), it may need to file a Form 1041 (federal estate income tax return). Threshold is usually $600 of gross income.
• [ ] Prepare the federal estate tax return if required. Federal estate tax applies only to estates above the exemption, which is $15 million per individual ($30 million for married couples) in 2026, indexed for inflation after that, under the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, made permanent in 2025. Most estates do not owe federal estate tax. Form 706 is due nine months after death if applicable.
• [ ] Prepare the state estate tax return if required. Several states have estate or inheritance taxes with much lower thresholds than the federal level. New York, for example, has a $7.35 million exemption (2026) and no spousal portability. If the parent lived in or owned property in such a state, state estate tax may apply even when federal does not. Consult a local estate attorney.
• [ ] Distribute personal property among siblings. The objects that have grief weight far in excess of their financial value. Read When siblings disagree about an estate before doing this. The piece names a structured process — round-robin, blind bidding, written wish lists submitted in advance — that is dramatically more useful than negotiating in real time.
• [ ] Begin the work of emptying the home. If the home is being sold, this work has a deadline. If the home is being kept, the work has no deadline but is often more emotionally difficult because there is no external pressure forcing the timeline. Schedule it. Do it in stages. Take photographs of what you keep and what you donate. Read the childhood home section of the witness piece before starting.
• [ ] Decide on the home. Sell, keep among heirs, or transfer to one heir with offsetting value to others. Each option has tax and family implications. Get professional advice.
• [ ] Manage the first significant holidays. The first birthday, the first anniversary of the death, the first major holiday — Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day — are landmines. They are also unavoidable. Talk with siblings in advance about how the family will handle them. Whatever you decide, it will be imperfect; the goal is just to have decided.

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Months seven to twelve

• [ ] Continue closing accounts and following up on outstanding items. Some institutions are slow. Some claims require multiple resubmissions. Maintain the tracking spreadsheet; do not let items slip.
• [ ] Distribute estate assets per the will or trust. Once creditor periods have closed, taxes have been filed, and asset values have been established, the executor distributes assets according to the will or trust instructions. Keep careful records; the executor is personally liable for distributions made before debts and taxes are paid.
• [ ] Settle the estate. Once all assets have been distributed, all debts paid, and all taxes filed, the executor can petition the probate court (if applicable) to close the estate. The trustee similarly winds up the trust administration. This typically happens 9 to 18 months after death, sometimes longer for complex estates.
• [ ] Address the digital estate. Email accounts, social media, cloud storage, online services. Most platforms have a process for handling deceased users; some require legal documentation. Memorialize what you want to preserve; close what you don't. This work is often deferred to the end of the year because nothing forces it; do it before the second year if possible.
• [ ] Update your own estate plan. A parent's death often surfaces gaps in your own estate plan: outdated beneficiaries, missing healthcare directives, an unclear plan for your own children. This is the natural moment to address it. Read The floor plan nobody reads for the framework.
• [ ] Have the conversation about what you learned. The administration of a parent's estate teaches you, often forcefully, what works and what doesn't in estate planning. Capture what you learned. Talk with your siblings about what you would all do differently. This becomes the seed of your own family's planning, and the seed of the conversations you will eventually have with your own children.

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At the one-year mark

The first year ends. The world has long since stopped checking in. The casseroles are a distant memory. You may have noticed that the actual integration of the loss is just beginning.

This is normal. Year two is sometimes harder than year one — the practical work that organized the first year is done, and what remains is the ongoing experience of a life that no longer includes your parent. There is no checklist for this part. There is just the slow accumulation of a life that has the loss inside it as a fact rather than a wound.

If items remain on this list — and there usually are — that is fine. The work continues.

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Frequently Asked Questions